Who remembers the old sit-com Mama’s Family – the spinoff from The Carol Burnett Show in the early 80’s? Remember “Mama” (Vickie Lawrence), the fiesty, quick-tongued, blue-haired mom who spent each week trying to keep her dysfunctional family from falling apart? Who can forget Mama’s children, Vinton and Eunice (Carol Burnett), who brought so much comedy and strife to the line-up. Although “Mama” always gave her son grief about his “pie-in-the-sky”, half-brained schemes and inventions and even though she scoffed at the choice in men that her daughter Eunice made in marrying the conniving and chauvanistic “Ed”, at the end of each episode, Mama always came through for her family and rescued them all from their own dimwit mistakes. I loved that show!
I never thought that some while later I would end up in my own real-life “sit-com” with a slightly dysfunctional family of my own – only it’s not so funny at times! Hear me…my family is GREAT! Really!!! I have a wonderful husband who adores me and two rapidly growing, extremely bright, funny and talented teen boys. BUT….sometimes things can get pretty hectic and chaotic in our home. It’s in those times that I wonder “what did I do to cause this?” I find myself franctic that one of my boys is going to fail miserably in one of his classes at school….”what can I do, maybe I will call the teacher and ask her for extra credit work…” I think to myself, because I’m “Mama” and I have to fix EVERYTHING. At other times I am so overbearing….”I told you to do it this way…” or even worse, “if you had done what I told you to do this would never have happened”…because I’m “Mama” and mama is ALWAYS R-I-G-H-T!
I have great intentions in training my children. As mom’s, we all want our children to grow up healthy and happy, and to have the best possible life they can, with the least amount of suffering. Unfortunately, it’s in this quest that we often do more harm than good. I’m learning that my overbearing nature and my constant attempts to prevent failure in my children (even though it’s meant to protect) is stifling my kids’ own personal development. By not allowing my kids to fail, I am preventing them from learning from their mistakes. Where would any of us be if we hadn’t learned that when someone says “don’t touch it, it’s hot” we probably shouldn’t touch it (again) because it really is? Ouch!! Thank goodness we never get too old to learn something new and it’s never to late to start over!
I’m still learning with my children, but I only have a few more years before they go out into the world to put into practice all the great training I’ve tried to give them. Thank God there is still time left. I just hope that I can retrain myself to ease up and allow my boys to become the men that God has created them to be and not what I think they should be.
Moms, it will be okay…even if they get the “D” in Algebra, or they get embarrassed from wearing the same pair of jeans to school all week because they chose movies with friends over doing their laundry. They will learn, if you just back off and allow them the room they need to grow (but stay a comfortable distance behind them, they will need you from time to time!)
For more on this, take a look at this article I found – it was just what I needed today! Happy Parenting!!!